"Note the gleam, the sheen, the hair product, the creepy I-can't-believe-you're-all-falling-for-my-shtick grin splattered all over televangelist and best-selling author Joel Osteen and his not-quite-human wife, Victoria, as they celebrate the grand opening of the new home for the Lakewood Church, formerly the Compaq Center. I mean, come *on* people. Didn't anyone see "V" back in the '80s? Can't you tell the scary lizard race from the Fifth Dimension when you see them? Look more closely. Look at those eyes. Scaly!"
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